Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Hers Was A Curious Makeup

In the words of a certain Springsteen song, I'm sick of sitting 'round here trying to write this book. Therefore, you're getting a blog about a subject I've been pondering lately: makeup. Cosmetics. The stuff we put on our faces (and maybe other parts).

The United States is the biggest cosmetic market in the world, with an estimated annual revenue of about 54.89 billion U.S. dollars. You can't turn on a television or open a magazine without being lured by promises of a prettier, younger, brighter, more appealing, worthy-of-public-viewing face. Hope in a jar is a very salable product. Debbie Boone keeps crooning at me about a Lifestyle Lift. I kinda wish she'd stop.

As a traditional Southern woman, I admit it. The cliché applies—I won't walk to the mailbox without makeup. This is especially true for me, as my mail waits in a public post office. I've had an older male cousin remark on how a woman should always have her hair and makeup done for the grocery store or any other non-hidden environs, because she might encounter someone helpful in her career. Can't be seen looking less than your best. (Yes, I resented that a bit.)

During this morning's regimen I pondered how other women might feel. Do you put on makeup for yourself, or others? How long does it take you? Is your objective confidence, beauty, sexiness? Are you happier with or without it? Is it a chore, or is it fun?

I have days when I wonder if I'm doing the whole thing right. I recently attempted to correct this by submitting to a Bobbi Brown saleslady/makeup pro/painter of women. I muttered excuses and left the counter in horror when she finished, as I looked like the afternoon's designated mall clown. It took me ten minutes of swiping stuff off in a ladies' room to reenter the public domain.

One lady tells me she has "at home eyebrows" and "public eyebrows." I find this both amusing and sad.

My grandfather used to tell me, "Pretty is as pretty does." Does that maxim apply without lipstick and an eyelash curler?

Possible responses to "Why are you wearing makeup?":

Because I didn't have time for plastic surgery.
Because I feel naked without it.
Because all the other women are.
It was my morning art project.
I do not want to frighten small children.
Because I made the mistake of spending an hour with the Kardashians again.

What about it, ladies? I'd love to hear your thoughts. I'm going to fix my face and ponder the subject.

Here's what Miranda thinks:

Love from Delta.

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Maybe Chivalry Just Has a Fever

My latest book has me shuffling back and forth between men pitching woo in 1947 and 2012 and considering the differences. I wasn't around for the post-war woo, but I suspect it was courtlier and more chivalrous than what we see these days.

Don't get me wrong: I love being a modern woman. I would not erase one hundred years of progress for those of us blessed with two x chromosomes . . . not for all the leather jackets gallantly tossed over mud puddles in the world.

It is heartening, however, to see some traditions continue. Men walking on the traffic side of the street to protect their ladies, for one.

I am not my grandmother, who would stand stock-still for ten minutes beside a car door waiting for a gentleman to open itbut I'm happy to have a door opened for me whenever possible.

If there is a snake or spider nearby, I'm going to require a white knight bearing sword or heel.

I think most women are comforted knowing there are men out there they can call on in times of need. My husband is that kind of guy; always dependable in a crisis (if you can get him to answer his cell phone). For those times he's unavailable, I can turn to what I think of as "the men in my village." They're friends of mine, relatives, friends of my husband's, husbands of girlfriends . . . we all have them, ladies. I am grateful for the men in my village.

Chivalrous men, your mama raised you right. We thank you.

"I often think a lot of women's attraction to vampires is based on the fact that vampires come from centuries ago, from eras of chivalry and courtly virtues."
~Stephen Moyer

"I heard that chivalry was dead, but I think it's just got a bad flu."
~Meg Ryan

"If you're walking with your lady on the sidewalk, I still like to see a man walking street-side, to protect the lady from traffic. I grew up with that, and I hate to see something like that get lost. I still like to see that a man opens the door. I like those touches of chivalry that are fast disappearing."
~Betty White  

Love from Delta.

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

There Are People In Your Life . . .

. . . who are always there when you need them. They show up on your doorstep when your baby daughter is a day or two old, bearing a roasted chicken, green beans, salad, and an heirloom-recipe apple pie.

When you get distracted in your new car and smack into a van bearing a rolled-up carpet—the vehicular equivalent of colliding with the business end of a log truck—they're by your side with comforting words for you and handy translation of your incoherent babble for the police.

When necessary, they hold your hand . . . even over the phone.

I have known Mark and Marianne Barnebey for more years than I admit to wandering this earth. Today is their thirtieth wedding anniversary—a testament to love, devotion and two fabulous senses of humor. While I was not present for their wedding, I've seen the photos and heard the stories. God has smiled on them in many ways.

This is their firstborn, Matthew. Matt is one of the finest people I know; an aspiring race car driver and all-around Good Guy. He was the kind of kid who walked out of "Remember the Titans" saying he liked the movie except for the cursing. I believe that was one "damn" inserted for dramatic purposes. The point is: Matt's mama and daddy set a great example, and he lives it.

Christopher spent a good deal of time in my house, and is equally terrific. He's a talented, accomplished chef and tons of fun to be around. Legendary childhood Chris stories include a time I extracted a staple from his head—Marianne was away and he wouldn't let Mark do it—and an incident in which he spilled hot soup on his head. He's much better in the kitchen now.

Beautiful daughter Emily has brought them joy, fun and laughter. I have loved spending time with her, too.

Cherished friends provide too many memories to list; Marianne standing atop a restaurant table, resplendent in red after winning her first City Council election . . . New Year's Eve parties with endless laughter . . . countless plates of nachos at The Boiler Room . . . fundraisers and events where we danced until the wee hours of the morning . . . shared time with our parents and my grandmother . . . hurricane parties . . . hugs, tears and smiles.

Congratulations to two of my favorite people on thirty wonderful years. I'm grateful to have been along for the ride, and look forward to thirty more.

Love from Delta.