Tuesday, December 27, 2011

And They Lived Happily Ever After For Two Weeks

"A wedding is a funeral where you smell your own flowers."
Eddie Cantor

"All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble."
Raymond Hull

"All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner."
Red Skelton

"I enjoyed every minute of my tiny little bite-sized marriage. I dedicated myself fully in the earnest struggle to make things work, but after two long weeks of matrimony . . ."  
Sinead O'Connor 

     Okay, I made that last one up. One imagines Sinead or Kim Kardashian saying it, along with the ever-growing number of celebrities determined to make a mockery of "Till death do us part." It is more like "till I get bored" or "till I find out about the pre-nup" or "till you clip your toenails in bed on top of my teacup poodle."

     Barry Herridge, the guy who most recently wed Miss O'Connor, was apparently unaware that his shaved-head-combat-boot-wearing fiancee who famously destroyed a photo of the Pope on camera was . . . a bit wild. Seems that as soon as wifey took off on her wedding night to find a little weed to smoke, Barry was so shocked he had to reconsider his choice. Who would have imagined that Sinead O'Connor would smoke weed? Or that Amy Winehouse used to get tipsy occasionally?

     The woman most famous for her rendition of Nothing Compares 2 U has four children from her previous relationships. She wed music producer John Reynolds in 1989 and journalist Nicholas Sommerlad in 2001. This past April, she split from longtime friend and collaborator Steve Cooney.  

     Maybe for her, nothing compares 2 Sinead with a joint or nice bowl.

     Sorry it didn't end blissfully, Sinead. When you are well-known, it is difficult to commit to another human being for more than a New York minute. We understand.

Love from Delta.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

The Digital Story of the Nativity

Dearest Facebook and Email Addicts,

Please enjoy this video. It was sent by my favorite top-secret source of material. She knows who she is.

Love and Merry Christmas from Delta.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

My Christmas Must-Listen List

Everyone has a favorite Christmas song. Here are a few of mine.
(Please pardon and skip the commercials.)

Loved him at 13, love Brad now. Listen all the way through!

It goes without saying why this makes the list.

Love the Garth Brooks version, but had to settle for this.


Carrie can sing.

Josh Turner's voice is amazing, and he is not difficult to look upon.

A Band Aid staple, remade by the incredibly talented Glee cast.

Hope you enjoy the music, and please post your favorites so I might add them.

Love from Delta.

Monday, December 19, 2011

That's What Friends Are For.

We moved.

Left our life in The Sunshine State, roaches and sand spurs and pretty beaches and glorious sunsets and rude Yankee snowbirds and hurricanes and stifling humidity and dear friends and relatives and upscale chi-chi restaurants and traffic jams and warm church embraces and Junior League and community boards and political activism and Publix (where shopping really is a pleasure) and unrelenting heat . . . and came to Alabama.

My husband's roots run deep here. Mine run even deeper.

We awake to scenery that I was born to love. Red clay clings to my sneakers and tires. The chickens remind me to greet the sunrise. Cheaha Mountain envelops me in her shadow.

Though I am so happy to be here . . . and those who know me know that . . . I miss certain people of over twenty years' acquaintance. Two of them came yesterday to visit.

Beth and Bill Monette are not friends. They are family, because we began our marriage across the street from their home, birthed and raised our children with their guidance, spent countless hours enjoying their company, counted our blessings along with theirs, and thanked the Lord they were in our life.

When Jace was born, Beth appeared at our door with a ceramic crowing rooster to display when he accomplished something great . . . a first step or a Master's degree from Alabama. When Savannah was little, Beth was her other mom—recipient of a thousand confidences.

They celebrated their fortieth anniversary with us. We were honored.

Years ago at a very low point in my life, Beth brought me a pilllow embroidered with this:  "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."-Jeremiah 29:11

It meant a lot. She has always been good at meaning a lot.

When I started writing, Beth was the first to read every chapter of Delaney's People. She was my promoter, encourager, motivator—everything. On the days I did not believe in myself . . . she did. Beth said, "You have a gift to share with the world."

I listened. I wrote.

Now I think she was right. 

As Alabama says:

"Oh I believe there are angels among us.
Sent down to us from somewhere up above.
They come to you and me in our darkest hours.
To show us how to live, to teach us how to give.
To guide us with the light of love."

Beth and Bill have been ours for many years. 

Love from Delta.

Monday, December 5, 2011

It Is Not Real.

Clothing magnate H&M just admitted it puts real models' heads on computer-generated bodies for its ads. Apparently, models are not skinny enough.

I ask you, people: when will the madness end? How much anorexia must we induce before gaunt is no longer chic?

Look at this.

If these girls were not thin enough to begin with, what does that say about our current ideal? Supermodels are fat? The only acceptable size is a negative one?

Enough, already.

Women used to be supposed to look like this:

Or this . . . 

Embrace femininity. Embrace curves. Reject the ridiculous starving-heroin-chic-give-that-girl-a-burger model stereotype, H&M. Real women don't look like that, and don't want to.

Love from Delta.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

I'm Alabama

     Okay, y'all. Most of you know I've been reveling in my Alabama-ness since moving back about four years ago. I am seriously crazy about this state . . . my feverish devotion even resulted in a recently-published book.

     This is the "Year of Alabama Music." In conjunction with that celebration, a songwriting contest was held. Here is the winner, Joseph Baldwin:

     Please listen all the way through. The man is talented, and I love what he has to say.

     The Alabama Tourism Department is releasing a compilation of the top competitors' submissions called "Alabama Road Songs." I will be purchasing one and hope you will, too.

     (As well as a copy of my love letter to Alabama, Delaney's People. Shameless plug.)
     The acoustic version is great, but this is the one I'm waiting to download and wear out in my car. Many of these scenes were filmed near my home. (That is Cheaha Mountain in the distance at the top of the page, and Joseph is standing on it!)

     Thank you, Joseph Baldwin, for your wonderful homage.

Love from Delta.